Say What You Mean
You may have heard the phrase say what you mean, and mean what you say. For me, this means to clearly communicate my wishes and intentions while being fully committed to what is conveyed. I find saying what one means especially relevant for healthy communication. It demonstrates one’s ability to be open, honest, patient/thoughtful, considerate, and confident. Oftentimes we can exhibit behaviors that are the opposite of this - closed, dishonest, impatient or hasty, inconsiderate, and uncertain or fearful. We can display varying forms of communication, whether excessive (wasteful), limited to none, and even abusive in nature. I imagine we can all relate to the challenge of communicating how we may truly feel. It can certainly be challenging to express feelings in ways that are clear, transparent, consistent, and meaningful.
It’s possible we might not even recognize the times we aren’t sharing our wishes or intentions clearly. Two types of communication that are worth noting are passive-aggression and sarcasm. Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines passive-aggressive as being marked by or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness). In other words, someone’s feelings may be shown in a physical way but otherwise not communicated directly. Sarcasm, according to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, is a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain. The use of humor can be a helpful tool in communication at times. On the other hand, sarcasm can be used to express feelings that, similar to passive-aggression, one does not want to communicate directly. Both passive-aggression and sarcasm can be damaging in relationships and contribute to toxic environments.
It’s important to draw a distinction between saying something at all and saying something at the right place/time, as well as how something is communicated. When and how something is communicated is just as important as communicating in the first place. It’s also important to identify if what is communicated will result in a desired outcome and if that desired income will add value. Communicating just to do so isn’t the ultimate goal but communicating with a purpose to achieve positive growth and/or change personally, professionally, and organizationally.
What keeps you from communicating your true thoughts or feelings? How are you communicating what you mean? Consider these questions and ways you might share meaningful and healthy messages with others.
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.
Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.
Clear Messages
When something is clear, it means it is ‘not subject to misinterpretation or more than one interpretation’ (Merriam-Webster). I really appreciate the wording of this definition. It speaks to the importance of clarity and consistency in messaging, whether the communication is written, verbal, or nonverbal behavior. This is especially relevant in leadership and organizational and professional development, and I believe a greater focus on improving messaging in these areas would contribute greatly to organizational health and success.
Can you think of a time when you were expected to fulfill a task or assignment but were left with questions about what you should do? What about discrepancies between an organization’s vision/mission, services, and outcomes? Or a leader whose values were not matched by their words and actions? I imagine you have experienced these and/or other instances when messaging was not clear or was contrary to what was intended.
Leaders have a wonderful responsibility and opportunity to cast vision, establish expectations, give instruction and guidance, share strategy, teach, mentor, and model values and behaviors. The messages that leaders convey are extremely important. And not just for leaders in the formal or traditional sense, but for you who influences the lives of people around you every day. Thus, it is important to also consider areas for continuous growth and improvement.
Healthy Messages helps professionals:
Create clear, consistent messaging.
Grow personally and professionally.
Implement practices and systems that support organizational health and success.
Develop tools for evaluating performance and measuring success.
Achieve their unique vision for services or their business.
There are a few questions I would like you to consider:
What do you want to communicate to those who you want to help, lead, or support?
What is your vision or mission?
What goals do you want to accomplish?
What messages do you want to convey in words and actions?
How do you want to grow personally and professionally?
In reviewing these questions consider how a focus on improving messaging can contribute to the bigger picture - organizational health and success.
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.
Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.