Say What You Mean

You may have heard the phrase say what you mean, and mean what you say. For me, this means to clearly communicate my wishes and intentions while being fully committed to what is conveyed. I find saying what one means especially relevant for healthy communication. It demonstrates one’s ability to be open, honest, patient/thoughtful, considerate, and confident. Oftentimes we can exhibit behaviors that are the opposite of this - closed, dishonest, impatient or hasty, inconsiderate, and uncertain or fearful. We can display varying forms of communication, whether excessive (wasteful), limited to none, and even abusive in nature. I imagine we can all relate to the challenge of communicating how we may truly feel. It can certainly be challenging to express feelings in ways that are clear, transparent, consistent, and meaningful. 

It’s possible we might not even recognize the times we aren’t sharing our wishes or intentions clearly. Two types of communication that are worth noting are passive-aggression and sarcasm. Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines passive-aggressive as being marked by or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness). In other words, someone’s feelings may be shown in a physical way but otherwise not communicated directly. Sarcasm, according to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, is a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain. The use of humor can be a helpful tool in communication at times. On the other hand, sarcasm can be used to express feelings that, similar to passive-aggression, one does not want to communicate directly. Both passive-aggression and sarcasm can be damaging in relationships and contribute to toxic environments. 

It’s important to draw a distinction between saying something at all and saying something at the right place/time, as well as how something is communicated. When and how something is communicated is just as important as communicating in the first place. It’s also important to identify if what is communicated will result in a desired outcome and if that desired income will add value. Communicating just to do so isn’t the ultimate goal but communicating with a purpose to achieve positive growth and/or change personally, professionally, and organizationally. 

What keeps you from communicating your true thoughts or feelings? How are you communicating what you mean? Consider these questions and ways you might share meaningful and healthy messages with others. 

I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.

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