Healthy Messages™ 3/31/24 Healthy Messages™ 3/31/24

What Does it Mean to Create Healthy Messages?

What does it mean to “create healthy messages?” You might be asking yourself this question if it’s your first time being introduced to the topic. Or maybe you have some idea of the topic but are not exactly sure. Whether you’re familiar with or new to Healthy Messages™, now is a great time to explore its purpose in greater detail.

At its core, Healthy Messages™ is a reflection of its name. To expound on this more, first consider what it means to be “healthy.” It’s synonymous with “well,” “strong,” and “whole,” to name a few, and according to Miriam-Webster, it means “beneficial to one’s physical, mental, or emotional state, conducive to or associated with good health.” “Good” is important to note. When someone or something is healthy, it is in good health, compared to poor health, and similarly will embody an appearance that is representative of this. Take a plant, for instance. When healthy, its leaves appear green and vibrant. If unhealthy, its leaves might start to fade in color or wilt, and ultimately it doesn’t grow.

Next, a message is a “communication in writing, in speech, or by signals.” A message is also “an underlying theme or idea,” which makes a message particularly significant. Think of the most meaningful messages you’ve heard or read throughout your life. Rather than just sharing for the sake of sharing, an intentional or purposeful message provides a benefit to you and is constructive to you in your life, even if it doesn’t always feel that way at first. Take, for instance, the times you might have received a message that was difficult for you. This could be because an issue or some area of weakness that needed to be improved was the focus of the conversation. It’s hard to hear when you’ve made a mistake or didn’t do your best or what you hoped you would, or if things couldn’t have been better, it somehow caused a negative reaction.

Whatever the case may be, if shared effectively, a healthy message will ultimately serve an intended purpose, foster growth, and/or bring about positive change, for yourself and others.

The term “healthy” is also inspired by work with individuals within various aspects of service. One area of concern is human or helping services, including mental health care, intersections between mental and health care, faith-based services, and other community-based initiatives. Helping people in need is largely purpose-driven work and brings meaningful rewards, both for the giver and receiver. On the other hand, it has its share of challenges — high demand/stress, limited resources, and risks to one’s own mental and/or physical health, to name a few. Additionally, in many cases, there is an absence of values and ideals synonymous with “good” health in the very places where this is a huge aspect of its mission and vision, such as effectively achieving outcomes like growth and change or excellent customer satisfaction. The same could be said of professional services, another area of concern, including human resources, consulting, coaching, and training (learning and development). Across service areas, non-profit and for-profit businesses, there is an expectation of greater responsibility and accountability, thus a consistent need for leaders, professionals, and owners alike to consider inconsistencies in messages conveyed through words and actions, gaps between ideals and practices, even a lack of positive customer experiences, all of which ultimately detract from the outcomes they hope to achieve.

A healthy message is clear and consistent, aligned with values and goals, and contributes to organizational objectives.

How do you create healthy messages? Healthy Messages™ provides professional consulting services for the growth and positive change of individuals, leaders, and organizations around areas of service. Whether you’re a professional seeking to develop new skills, a leader or business owner wanting to see positive change across systems, or either in need of direct writing support or a partner to simply walk with and advise you along the journey, there are many ways to create healthy messages.

This writing provides a high-level overview of what it means to create healthy messages. To explore these and other topics more, please view current and upcoming writings, and feel free to share a comment. Request a free consultation to get started with services and reach out to partner.

Healthy Messages™ provides professional consulting services for the growth and positive change of individuals, leaders, and organizations within areas of service. Learn more about Healthy Messages™’ mission, vision, and outcomes.

Healthy Messages™ 6/30/23 Healthy Messages™ 6/30/23

Communication Styles

Have you considered your communication “style”? This refers to “your way” of communicating or sharing information with others. For some, this might be consistent with their personality, a reflection of their values, a result of their upbringing or education, and/or specific to completing a particular task or achieving a certain goal or outcome. How one communicates might vary depending on multiple factors. Regarding communication in the workplace or working in any team, it’s important to be aware of your style of communicating and how you can communicate most effectively with others.

Main Styles of Communication

There are four main styles of communication that have been researched over the years. These include:

Passive Communication,
Aggressive Communication,
Passive-Aggressive Communication, and
Assertive Communication.

Passive Communication

Individuals who communicate passively might not express their feelings or needs, ignore their own rights, and defer to others to make decisions in order to avoid tension or conflict. One example is when someone says, “I’m okay with whatever you want to do.”

Passive communication can lead to misunderstandings, built-up anger, or resentment.

On the other hand, this approach might be helpful when needing to deescalate a situation.

Aggressive Communication

Someone who communicates aggressively might express feelings or needs at the expense of others (ignore the rights of others), alienate and hurt others, and become defensive or hostile when confronted.This style of communication can be characterized by raising one’s voice, blaming, being critical, or becoming physical, to name a few.

Aggressive communication could be helpful when someone needs to quickly stop a situation from becoming worse (when personal safety is threatened).

Passive-Aggressive Communication

A person who communicates passive-aggressively might express feelings or needs indirectly (appear passive on the surface but subtly act out anger) and exert control over others by using sarcasm or avoiding the conversation. Some examples include appearing passive but giving the “silent treatment”, spreading rumors about others, or sabotaging the efforts of others.

Assertive Communication

Assertive Communication is characterized by individuals’ utilization of direct, honest communication of feelings or needs (asserting their feelings or needs while respecting those of others). It’s important to not confuse assertive communication with aggressive communication. Examples of assertive communication include using “I” statements, making eye contact, having straight posture, and showing relaxed gestures.

Read more information about these communication styles and related resources.

In addition to the main four styles of communication previously noted, you might find other styles, such as direct, functional, or collaborative, relevant for you.

Implications for Leaders/Organizations

Whether in the workplace or working in any team, understanding communication styles is important for achieving effective communication. If you’re a leader, you also play an important role in supporting the growth and development of members of your team, as well as establishing standards for and modeling healthy communication and workplace culture. Effective communication can contribute to engagement, retention, and productivity, among other positive outcomes.

What is your communication “style”? Are you aware of how you can communicate most effectively with others?

Not sure about your communication style? Take a quiz!

I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.

Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.

Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.

Healthy Messages™ 4/30/23 Healthy Messages™ 4/30/23

Shifting Perspectives of Influence in Leadership

When you think of leadership, what comes to mind? Perhaps you think of people who possess a formal leadership title/role. Oftentimes, we think of leaders as individuals who have a level of, or complete, authority over particular persons or tasks. In turn, we might exclude ourselves from leadership, especially if we are not “in charge”. Or maybe you do consider yourself to be a leader because you have some type of responsibility and/or accountability for others. Whatever position you might find yourself in, it’s important to be aware of your influence, because you have it! Yet, often we misuse (or even abuse) it or don’t use it to our fullest potential.

What does it mean to influence?

When we think of influence today, we might automatically think about someone considered to be an “influencer”, one who has a platform on social media and has amassed a large number of followers. When I think of influence, I think of having an intentional, positive impact. Today, unfortunately not everything we see and hear has a positive influence, let alone significant purpose. According to Merriam-Webster, influence is defined as the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways; the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command; one that exerts influence; or an emanation of spiritual or moral influence. This could refer to something positive or negative. For the purpose of this writing, I am advocating for the former. On one hand, for me the definition brings out an important, yet often overlooked, aspect of leadership - “producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command”. In other words, without requiring a lot of effort. We often associate leadership with power that is forceful and/or commanding. Yet, influence is largely about action or power in the absence of such purely based on the value that is being offered. This changes how we might think of influence and leadership. In my own experiences, I’ve felt most disappointed by the excess of control that can be exercised in leadership. In these cases, I think we miss the most important opportunities we have to positively influence others. Leading isn’t always about having people follow you in the sense of doing what you say. It’s as much, if not more, about setting an example that people feel would benefit them in their own lives, in addition to helping them to apply it, which could involve providing guidance or counsel. Overall, it’s about supporting and serving others. This brings up the part of the definition that I would challenge - causing an effect not only in indirect and intangible ways, but in very much direct and tangible or intentional ways. Think of those who have had a powerful impact on your life. What made what they said or did meaningful to you or brought about an intended outcome? In their book The Way of the Shepherd: Seven Secrets to Managing Productive People, Dr. Kevin Leman and Bill Pentak wrote, “What makes a shepherd a shepherd isn’t the staff or the rod; it’s the heart. What distinguishes a great leader from a mediocre one is that a great leader has a heart for his people.”

Have you considered your influence on others?

Formal and informal leaders alike might miss out on the ways they can positively and intentionally influence the people around them. Formal leaders because they confine themselves to certain expectations that their roles dictate and/or misuse or abuse their authority within and outside of their roles. And informal leaders because they doubt that they have any influence over others or any authority to make a positive change for themselves and others. And if you’re not sure how you can positively influence those around you, start by looking at the value that you bring to your family, friends, and peers. What might you do every day without thinking about it that serves, helps, or provides support to others? What passion and/or idea do you possess that could make a significant difference in someone else’s life?

I always appreciate seeing leaders who are willing to step back and let others contribute or lead, especially when it’s an area that others can influence or contribute to. Or maybe they have input or ideas that would greatly enrich the team or organization. To me, great leaders recognize their own influence in creating a culture that is open to growing or building up others and seek to facilitate this development, whether those individuals serve formally or not. Additionally, leaders show great strength and humility when they are able to defer to others’ knowledge or skills. In the book previously referenced, Leman and Pentak noted, “Your people are your greatest competitive advantage. Managers will say they agree with that, but often they merely give lip service to the idea…You need to discover their skills and interests…their goals and dreams, what motivates them…what their career ambitions and frustrations are.”

Effecting change starts with recognizing the value that you and others around you have. Growth involves building on the strengths of others while removing and guarding against the barriers and obstacles that prevent true change.

Are you aware of your influence? What message do you convey to others about their value and worth? As a leader or “influencer” (referring to the definition outlined in this writing), how do you serve others? How can you make a positive impact in the lives of others both effortlessly and with great intention?