Communicating in the Face of Fear
Fear can be extremely debilitating and limiting in accomplishing one’s goals. On one hand, fear serves a purpose in protecting us from difficult situations. This is commonly known as the fight or flight response. On the other hand, many times we are kept, largely on our part, from moving forward with the things that are important to us due to fear. I thought about this as it relates to communication. Both personally and professionally, individuals face challenges with communicating their ideas or wishes because of fear. Think about the experiences you have had with this. What keeps you from sharing truthfully with others?
Maybe it’s the fear of being different from the majority and unliked. Or retaliated against, even ostracized. It could be that you fear people will question or distrust your abilities. Perhaps you fear that someone will be upset with you or that you will hurt someone. There’s also the fear that you are powerless and that in the end nothing will change, so speaking at all is pointless. There may be many reasons for why it is difficult to communicate freely. When I think about my own life and work, especially regarding advocating for change, I have experienced some of the fears noted above, which have at times been realized. Yet, pushing past the fears has been advantageous for me in pursuing my goals, including fostering growth and change.
It’s important to keep in mind why you are communicating in the first place. What something means to you, or your intentions for doing something, is important for establishing why you are communicating. Whether for yourself and/or others, the need that you have in communicating helps lay the foundation for what is communicated and how.
Unfortunately, in many ways we find that the result of our communication is often determined by multiple factors. A large one is the willingness/receptiveness of others to act on what is shared, especially by individuals who are in positions of power or influence. Yet, this shouldn’t be a deterrent from communicating. It’s important to remember that your voice or message matters, and in being thoughtful and intentional, it’s possible to effect change.
What is something that you haven’t communicated with someone due to fear? Consider the worst that could happen if you did, and the best that could be possible but wouldn’t know unless you tried. Keep in mind the end result - what would support you and/or others and how you can most effectively share your message.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this writing in the comments or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.
Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.
Thoughtful Responses
Have you thought about how you receive and share information? And is one (receiving or sharing) more important than the other? How we receive information can be viewed from a few angles. On one hand, we can look at the method by which information is received, whether that’s verbally, visually, or through other senses (taste, touch, smell). On the other hand, how information is processed may be unique for each individual either due to personal strengths, such as a heightened sense of hearing or smell, or what an individual has found to work best for them to learn (i.e. visual vs. auditory). The same can be said for sharing information. It is this aspect of information that I would like to explore more, especially as it relates to healthy messaging.
Both receiving and sharing information go hand in hand, particularly when working with other people. Likely what you share is based on the information that has been received. And to give an appropriate response, all information available is crucial. There are times though when what is perceived or represented is contrary to what is actually shared or intended. This may or may not be the fault of the listener or sharer. If this takes place, it is likely that there was an absence of dialogue in order to clarify information received and shared. Yet, the sharer is in a great position to give the messages that they wish to convey. How we respond, even when faced with negative experiences, can have the biggest impact. Maybe we are working with an individual who is unkind. Or someone we are close to violates our trust (or that we trust doesn’t follow through as expected). Perhaps we are experiencing a hostile work environment. Sometimes our perceptions of the words and actions of others can determine how we respond. If perceived negatively (as a negative reflection of our character, worth, or intentions), we can easily become hurt, offended, or embarrassed, to name a few reactions. But these types of experiences present an opportunity to speak to the challenges that are before us, either in support of others, ourselves, or both. I’m reminded of feedback a mentor often shared, which was that words are simply information. We get to choose what we are going to do with them. Then, I would say we can take it one step further, which is to use our words wisely, intentionally adding value to the lives of others, including growth and lasting change.
Consider how you both receive and share information and ways that you might create healthy messages in your life and the lives of others. In going back to the questions shared initially, I find that in receiving information we are able to add significant value to others as a listener but how information is shared is particularly meaningful. It has been especially important for me to encourage people and organizations to go beyond the status quo (established cultures). And for me, this is largely founded upon and influenced by giving thoughtful responses.
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.
Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.