Missed Opportunities in Messaging
With communication comes the challenge of effectively sharing information, as well as being able to hear and understand what people are saying through their words and actions. There’s an opportunity for those sharing information to present messages as clearly and consistently as possible. However, it can be easy for those receiving messages to miss it entirely. On one hand, this could be a result of the sharer not presenting information in a way that communicates their message or true intentions. On the other hand, one’s perceptions, even biases, can play a big part in this discrepancy.
Consider the missed opportunities this has resulted in. Think about any number of topics debated on a regular basis that people stand divided on. It’s not hard to see these challenges at work on a regular basis. What’s even harder is being able to learn from others who share different ideas, beliefs, preferences, and maybe even look and sound different. You've likely heard the saying "eat the meat and spit out the bones". Generally, this means to separate what’s of value for you from what isn’t. Lately, I’ve thought a lot about the relevance of this in messaging. An issue that can prevent us from hearing what people have to say is simply being unwilling to take information from people whose message we don’t agree with or like, especially without forming an opinion or judgment. Due to this, maybe we won't hear anything that they have to say or take lessons that could possibly be applied to our lives. Maybe we don’t even agree with or like them as a person. At the least, we might express disdain or disapproval, which can result in alienating or separating others from common goals. Our words, and behaviors, have power. Images alone can have just as much power, if not more (you may have also heard the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words”).
There are times when it’s necessary to share values of importance, and it’s unfortunate that this too can often result in offending or turning off someone completely by nature of their disagreement with what is shared or done. I must clarify that I’m not speaking of sharing values which demean or devalue others, especially with the intention of causing harm. I would not advocate for this type of behavior, and empathize with anyone’s intolerance of such. This is also tricky because in service or people-facing roles, especially human services and mental health services, you are more likely to work with individuals with various behavioral health issues, thus demonstrating their need for the services they seek. More patience may be warranted in these cases. Even outside of these circumstances, it takes a willingness and some skill/ability to navigate these types of experiences, especially when coming across individuals who may demean or devalue you.
These challenges are largely due to the fact that our world and systems have thrived on categorizing people by their personal qualities, circumstances, or preferences (religion, residence, financial status, skin tone, political party, to name a few), which in many cases have been capitalized on. In today’s age of social media it’s just as easy to disregard someone because you don’t like their body image, hair, make-up, or clothes, sadly. Yet, human beings are way more complex than any categorizations or boxes one may try to put them in, as I’m sure anyone who has developed relationships with others have learned, even amongst those who share similarities with each other on surface levels.
It’s imperative to identify the values that are important to you in your life and work, and to share clear and consistent messages reflective of these values. In the process, be cautious about letting perceptions and biases dictate the messages you share and receive. It’s also important to maintain your character and values while also sharing messages of value with others, even the very individuals who we might think are less deserving of it. Additionally, it’s important to explore if there’s anything that can be taken away from anyone who has expressed values that are contrary to yours. Consider any challenges that you’ve had with receiving messages from others and why. Ask yourself what could be learned, gained or valued that otherwise might be missed.
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.
Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.
