To Say, or Not to Say? That is the Question.
We’ve all experienced challenges with knowing what to say and when at times in our lives. Some areas that this applies to include expressing concerns, sharing advice, speaking up for oneself, or giving guidance or feedback, to name a few. What about choosing to say something or nothing at all?
For some it can be difficult to refrain from speaking, especially if passionate about a particular subject or issue. Today there’s a lot of information disseminated and different topics discussed, even debated, on an ongoing basis. There’s hardly a time where we don’t hear someone’s ideas or opinions. This is both the advantage and challenge of social media and digital content. Or there are societal, life, and/or work pressures which personally impact people, prompting them to speak up. We might speak because there’s a sense of being in control of what we would like to result from our actions. Maybe we worry that an absence of speaking will affect us or others in a negative way. Possibly we are concerned about what people might think of us if we don’t. On the other hand, there's significant value to not buckling under internal and external pressures to speak, be they good or bad.
Sharing information that you promised or are expected to provide in ways that demonstrate your responsibility or accountability to others, as well as showing thoughtfulness or consideration of others through your words and actions, is extremely important in bearing witness to maturity and healthy messaging. Additionally, not feeling the need to have an answer for everything that is not warranted or needed is just as imperative. At times, this can be harder than getting up the nerve to speak up. Not saying something, particularly in the face of hostility of others, denotes strength and self-confidence. Personally, it’s crucial to remain true to your values. Professionally and organizationally, staying the course, including aligning words and actions purposefully, is key to utilizing time and resources effectively and achieving intended outcomes.
Think of other benefits of not having an answer for or response to everything. In high pressure situations, for instance, what you say or not can have life changing or life altering consequences. In the end, will you embark on new opportunities, complete a task, resolve matters, develop or maintain a relationship, or, most of all, maintain your character? I’m reminded of a proverb which says, “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Similarly, I love this quote from Roy T. Bennett: “A smart person knows how to talk. A wise person knows when to be silent.” Communication is not completely about what is said. It’s also about making strategic choices about what not to say.
In what ways do you refrain from speaking, and what benefits result from this? For you, when is it purposeful to say something, or not at all?
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.
Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.
