Not Your Average Counselor
When you hear the word ‘counselor’, what comes to mind? For different people, this word may mean or represent different things, reflect different experiences, and serve different purposes.
In the Mental Health field, a counselor is someone who may assist an individual who may be experiencing one or more symptoms, such as anxiety or depression, causing distress or challenges in their life to navigate these issues and develop positive ways of coping over a short or long period of time.
I associate counseling with spiritual, emotional/mental health, and overall life challenges. Throughout my life, I have been accustomed to individuals providing pastoral and mental/emotional counsel, as well as mentorship, and have observed them to all provide a great source of support in meeting respective needs.
In thinking about what counseling means to people, I am challenged to consider characteristics which serve to support the growth and independence of others. In my experiences, I have witnessed characteristics commonly associated with various forms of helping professions or human services which have at times been contrary to growth and independence due to its care giving or care taking nature.
Naturally, I am a good listener, calm, gentle, and sensitive to people’s needs. In working directly with individuals who have sought support for various life challenges this is feedback I have regularly received from others, including staff and clients. I value these characteristics that make me who I am. On the other hand, there are other characteristics that make me who I am that I feel are just as important, if not more, depending on the nature of the work or relationship – being honest, asking hard questions, setting good boundaries (saying ‘no’), and encouraging people to utilize their personal strengths to support growth and independence. While the former characteristics described are often associated with helping professions or human services, I cannot say the latter is as expected. These are the characteristics that I feel are unfortunately largely missing from direct practice and related organizations but are necessary for the health and success of individuals and organizations.
The absence of these characteristics and larger presence of care giving and care taking deterred me from the very areas that I am naturally good in as I did not feel like there was a place for me to utilize all of my strengths. Yet, I have had to remain true to myself and offer my unique abilities where I believe they are most needed, including advocating for positive change in mental health and human services. Just like I was challenged to consider characteristics which serve to support the growth and independence of others, I also challenge others. I repeat the characteristics I’ve found to be missing the most in helping professions or human service organizations - honesty, asking hard questions, setting good boundaries (saying ‘no’), and encouraging people to utilize their personal strengths to support growth and independence. The next time you think about counseling, consider these characteristics in addition to being a good listener, calm, gentle, and sensitive to people’s needs. And the next time you start to doubt you are ‘not your average counselor’, think again. You may just represent qualities, skills, and abilities that add value to the lives of others and contributes to needed systemic and organizational change.
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