Healthy Messages™ 7/31/22 Healthy Messages™ 7/31/22

Missed Opportunities in Messaging

With communication comes the challenge of effectively sharing information, as well as being able to hear and understand what people are saying through their words and actions. There’s an opportunity for those sharing information to present messages as clearly and consistently as possible. However, it can be easy for those receiving messages to miss it entirely. On one hand, this could be a result of the sharer not presenting information in a way that communicates their message or true intentions. On the other hand, one’s perceptions, even biases, can play a big part in this discrepancy.

Consider the missed opportunities this has resulted in. Think about any number of topics debated on a regular basis that people stand divided on. It’s not hard to see these challenges at work on a regular basis. What’s even harder is being able to learn from others who share different ideas, beliefs, preferences, and maybe even look and sound different. You've likely heard the saying "eat the meat and spit out the bones". Generally, this means to separate what’s of value for you from what isn’t. Lately, I’ve thought a lot about the relevance of this in messaging. An issue that can prevent us from hearing what people have to say is simply being unwilling to take information from people whose message we don’t agree with or like, especially without forming an opinion or judgment. Due to this, maybe we won't hear anything that they have to say or take lessons that could possibly be applied to our lives. Maybe we don’t even agree with or like them as a person. At the least, we might express disdain or disapproval, which can result in alienating or separating others from common goals. Our words, and behaviors, have power. Images alone can have just as much power, if not more (you may have also heard the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words”).

There are times when it’s necessary to share values of importance, and it’s unfortunate that this too can often result in offending or turning off someone completely by nature of their disagreement with what is shared or done. I must clarify that I’m not speaking of sharing values which demean or devalue others, especially with the intention of causing harm. I would not advocate for this type of behavior, and empathize with anyone’s intolerance of such. This is also tricky because in service or people-facing roles, especially human services and mental health services, you are more likely to work with individuals with various behavioral health issues, thus demonstrating their need for the services they seek. More patience may be warranted in these cases. Even outside of these circumstances, it takes a willingness and some skill/ability to navigate these types of experiences, especially when coming across individuals who may demean or devalue you.

These challenges are largely due to the fact that our world and systems have thrived on categorizing people by their personal qualities, circumstances, or preferences (religion, residence, financial status, skin tone, political party, to name a few), which in many cases have been capitalized on. In today’s age of social media it’s just as easy to disregard someone because you don’t like their body image, hair, make-up, or clothes, sadly. Yet, human beings are way more complex than any categorizations or boxes one may try to put them in, as I’m sure anyone who has developed relationships with others have learned, even amongst those who share similarities with each other on surface levels.

It’s imperative to identify the values that are important to you in your life and work, and to share clear and consistent messages reflective of these values. In the process, be cautious about letting perceptions and biases dictate the messages you share and receive. It’s also important to maintain your character and values while also sharing messages of value with others, even the very individuals who we might think are less deserving of it. Additionally, it’s important to explore if there’s anything that can be taken away from anyone who has expressed values that are contrary to yours. Consider any challenges that you’ve had with receiving messages from others and why. Ask yourself what could be learned, gained or valued that otherwise might be missed.

I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.

Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in human services improve, craft, and implement communication within and across systems.

Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.

Healthy Messages™ 6/30/22 Healthy Messages™ 6/30/22

Sharing Intentionally

For individuals in service or people-facing roles, sharing information is an integral part of their work with others. Receiving information is of course relevant for understanding what clients want and/or need but in large part it’s the information that they have to share that prompts a need for their help. Similarly, for individuals receiving services or supports, it is natural to both receive and share information but they are largely motivated to seek out services based on their need for some form of assistance.

Being intentional in sharing information might come easier for professionals or business owners, as well as clients of their services, because there is a specific purpose to achieve. For instance, a financial services professional meeting with a client shares information that pertains to better understanding, growing, and/or protecting money as it relates to that client's goal of investing money for an early retirement by age 60. Or a violin instructor working with a student shares information on how to read and play music in support of that client’s desire to play in their city’s orchestra the following fall. In these examples and other services you can probably think of we see an exchange of specific information with the intention of meeting a specific need.

For all businesses, whether private or for-profit, grant funded, large, or small, it’s important to stay focused on the purpose, the goals that clients want to achieve, and how this relates to the organization’s desired outcomes. Challenges can arise when communication, whether verbal, written, or behavioral, don’t align, resulting in unclear and disjointed inputs and outputs, as well as wasted, misused, even abused resources.

Applying intentionality in sharing can be beneficial organizationally, professionally, and personally. At times though, it can be more difficult to discern intentionality on a personal level. Even within a professional context there is always the possibility for our individual beliefs, values, and passions to motivate us. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, especially if what motivates us lines up with our organization’s mission, vision, goals, services, and outcomes. However, there may be instances when they don’t because they are inconsistent or contrary to them. Sadly, these inconsistencies are sometimes inappropriate in that they include negative, hurtful, or harmful reactions towards others due to personal challenges that the professional is experiencing. Or it could just be a mismatch in intentions between the professional providing services and the client seeking to access them. Thus, it is important for both parties to be clear and on the same page. Sometimes the work that we do involves uncertainty and depends on the judgment of the professional, which can include some risk, thus practicing discretion or sensitivity to others, as well as one’s environment or context, is crucial. Outside of professional contexts, the same can be applied in our personal lives. We may be motivated by our beliefs, values, and passions to provide support to others, whether friends, family, or strangers. Just the same, we are most effective in relationships with others when we are understanding of and able to effectively meet the needs of others consistently and appropriately.

Personally, professionally, and organizationally, we have an opportunity to share intentionally in the lives of others. What strengths do you possess in sharing intentionally or on purpose with the people in your life? How would you like to grow or improve in this area?

Feel free to share your thoughts on this writing in the comments or reach out if you’d like to connect, have questions, or are interested in partnering.

Healthy Messages™ helps professionals, leaders, and business owners in service/people-facing roles craft, implement, and improve healthy messages, effectively communicating messages in words, actions, and ideas in one’s life/work, writing, and within and across systems (whole and holistic messaging).

Learn more about Healthy Messages™ mission, vision, and outcomes.

Healthy Messages™ 5/31/22 Healthy Messages™ 5/31/22

Communicating in the Face of Fear

Fear can be extremely debilitating and limiting in accomplishing one’s goals. On one hand, fear serves a purpose in protecting us from difficult situations. This is commonly known as the fight or flight response. On the other hand, many times we are kept, largely on our part, from moving forward with the things that are important to us due to fear. I thought about this as it relates to communication. Both personally and professionally, individuals face challenges with communicating their ideas or wishes because of fear. Think about the experiences you have had with this. What keeps you from sharing truthfully with others?

Maybe it’s the fear of being different from the majority and unliked. Or retaliated against, even ostracized. It could be that you fear people will question or distrust your abilities. Perhaps you fear that someone will be upset with you or that you will hurt someone. There’s also the fear that you are powerless and that in the end nothing will change, so speaking at all is pointless. There may be many reasons for why it is difficult to communicate freely. When I think about my own life and work, especially regarding advocating for change, I have experienced some of the fears noted above, which have at times been realized. Yet, pushing past the fears has been advantageous for me in pursuing my goals, including fostering growth and change.

It’s important to keep in mind why you are communicating in the first place. What something means to you, or your intentions for doing something, is important for establishing why you are communicating. Whether for yourself and/or others, the need that you have in communicating helps lay the foundation for what is communicated and how.

Unfortunately, in many ways we find that the result of our communication is often determined by multiple factors. A large one is the willingness/receptiveness of others to act on what is shared, especially by individuals who are in positions of power or influence. Yet, this shouldn’t be a deterrent from communicating. It’s important to remember that your voice or message matters, and in being thoughtful and intentional, it’s possible to effect change.

What is something that you haven’t communicated with someone due to fear? Consider the worst that could happen if you did, and the best that could be possible but wouldn’t know unless you tried. Keep in mind the end result - what would support you and/or others and how you can most effectively share your message.