Effective Self-disclosure
Self-disclosure seems clear enough — one’s disclosure about themselves. However, self-disclosure involves a lot more consideration than what might be perceived — what should someone disclose, and when, and how does one self-disclose effectively? In today’s age of sharing what one thinks, does, or believes on a regular basis online, the art and science behind self-disclosure might not readily come to mind.
What is self-disclosure?
According to the Berkley Well-Being Institute, self-disclosure “is an aspect of communication that involves intentionally sharing personal information about ourselves with another person — information that others generally could not know without us sharing it.”
Why self-disclose?
Sharing about ourselves is a way for us to connect with others. The extent of what we share, however, could depend on the relationship and also help shape those relationships. For instance, we might share something less personal, say an interest we have, with someone we’re just getting to know but more personal (i.e., something we’re struggling with) with a close friend, family member, or mentor who we’ve grown to trust.
How much should someone self-disclose?
While it’s important to open up with others we want to get to know, and they us, we also want to keep in mind that self-disclosure is incremental in effective interpersonal relationships. Over-disclosing, and often, can be overwhelming or burdensome for the listener. The goal is to share the right amount of information. This speaks to the intention or purpose one has for sharing.
The bottom line
Overall, self-disclosure helps individuals form close, intimate social connections. There are also mental and physical health benefits of talking with others. It has been found that repressing emotions can have adverse health effects. Thus, being able to share information with individuals who will have a positive response to what is shared can be extremely impactful. And if we’re a listener, we want to be mindful of the significant role that we can play in supporting others in their sharing. Ultimately, we want to be someone that people can trust/confide in and respect.
The key to effective self-disclosure is sharing information intentionally.
Be other-centered when you disclose. Consider how what you share will affect the other person; don’t disclose just for the sake of disclosing.
Remember self-disclosure is incremental in effective interpersonal relationships. Be careful not to reveal too much too soon.
Decrease self-disclosure if you’re talking to someone and they are not reciprocating/responding.
Share stories, versus history, to invite the listener in/to respond.
What are your thoughts about self-disclosure? How comfortable are you with sharing about yourself with others? Are you someone that people feel safe disclosing information to?
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out if you’d like to connect or receive support, have questions, or are interested in partnering.
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